please watch avril lavigne’s new video it is so much worse than you are imagining as you are reading this, it is so much worse than anyone could have ever guessed it would be
oh my god it’s like everything regrettable about my junior high years was given a budget and a video camera
It’s like Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku appropriation phase + the nightmare sequence from Heathers + dubstep made specifically for a mid-2010 car commercial + those kids with cat ears that used to follow me and my friends around in high school + the inner monologue of a middle school girl character written by an adult man.
THIS IS NIGHTMARE FUEL DO NOT WATCH…. oh god help me.
I can’t… It’s just….if gwen’s version of this is a shitty horrible mass produced icky racist twinkie, and katy’s version is that twinkie in yellow face, then this is that twinkie ate by lou pearlman, shat out, and smeared across doorstep of 2005 then scientists are trying to figure out what it was.
"I don’t know is that a cupcake? i don’t know, did sanrio say this was ok? who are those poor sad backup dancers? I just… no".
I’m watching this on silent because I’m at work, and all I can see is this:
-Avril Lavigne trying to be Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and failing miserably.
-Avril Lavigne eating sushi because AMERICANS LIKE SUSHI! LOTS OF SUSHI!!!!!
-Avril Lavigne pretending that she’s big in Japan because of Western imperialist attitudes.
I hate to imagine what she’s *actually* singing about…
Haven’t clicked on it, but the preview image is creeping me out. Let’s live blog this. My impressions begin next line… So, LET’S GO!!
OH GOF, KA-KA-KA-KAWAII, what the fuck is that shit.
It’s Tryhard level AmeriKyary, only it’s Avril Lavigne with WAIT IS THAT DUBSTEP
I’m trying to find owrds and they are failing me hard
is this the real abvril lavigne? isthis a bad dream? i want to wake up oh god everything went black and white and she’s saying some kind of bullshit in — DID SHE JUST MEOW IS SHE JUST SINGING HELLO KITTY HELLO KITTY I DONT KNOW WHAT IS THIS WHAT HAS HUMANITY DONE TO DESERVE THIS OH GOD I SHOULDNT BE SHARING THIS BUT I HAVE TO WARN THE WORLD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD THIS IS A TERRIBLE INDESCRIBABLY THING FILTHIER THAN ANY AMERICAN OTAKU BS, A SHAPELESS CONGERIES OF KYARY COPYING, FAINTLY SIMILAR AND WITH MYRIADS OF VAPID REFERENCES TO KAWAII CULTURE ALL OVER THE VIDEO, FILLING ALL UPON US, CRUSHING OUR DREAMS OF ACCEPTANCE AND SLITHERING OVER THE GLISTENING FLOOR THAT WE AND OUR KIND HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO SWEEP OF SHIT LIKE THIS FOR ALL OF OUR LIVES
THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN SAVE US NOW
IA IA! PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH CTHULHU R’LYEH WGAH’NAL FHTAGN!
This is horrifying O_O But at least it’s not AmeriKyary — Avril is Canadian! :P Canukyary?
YA Retellings brought to you by Epic Reads - Fairy Tale Retellings:
Beauty and the Beast: East by Edith Pattou / Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow by Jessica Day George / Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley / Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge / Spirited by Nancy Holder / Heart’s Blood by Juliet Marillier / The Princess and the Hound by Mette Ivie Harrison / Stung by Bethany Wiggins / The Hollow Kingdom by Clare B. Dunkle / Beastly by Alex Flinn / Beauty by Robin McKinley / Of Beast and Beauty by Stacey Jay
The Little Mermaid: September Girls by Bennett Madison / Fathomless by Jackson Pearce / Monstrous Beauty by Elizabeth Fama / Midnight Pearls by Cameron Dokey / Mermaid: A Twist on a Classic Tale by Carolyn Turgeon
Cinderella: Just Ella by Margaret Peterson Haddix / Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine / Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George / Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas / If I have A Wicked Stepmother, Where’s My Prince? by Melissa Kantor / Gilded Ashes by Rosamund Hodge / Shadows on the Moon by Zoe Marriott / Cinder by Marissa Meyer / Before Midnight by Cameron Dokey / Ash by Malinda Lo
Rumpelstiltskin: A Curse As Dark As Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce / Spinners by Donna Jo Napoli / The Crimson Thread by Suzanne Weyn
The Frog Prince: Cloaked by Alex Flinn / Enchanted by Alethea Kontis / The Door in the Hedge by Robin McKinley / Water Song by Suzanne Weyn
The Snow Queen: Cold Spell by Jackson Pearce / Winter’s Child by Cameron Dokey / Stork by Wendy Delsol
Little Red Riding Hood: Red Riding Hood by Sarah Blakley-Cartwright / Scarlet by Marissa Meyer / The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly / Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce / Scarlet Moon by Debbie Viguié / Dust City by Robert Paul Weston
Twelve Dancing Princesses: Entwined by Heather Dixon / The Phoenix Dance by Dia Calhoun / The Night Dance by Suzanne Weyn / Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George / Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier
Hansel and Gretel: Sweetly by Jackson Pearce / Bewitching by Alex Flinn / Greta and the Goblin King by Chloe Jacobs
Rapunzel: Bitter Greens by Kate Forsyth / Rapunzel Untangled by Cindy C. Bennett / Towering by Alex Flinn / Cress by Marissa Meyer / Golden by Cameron Dokey / Zel by Donna Jo Napoli
Snow White: Beauty by Nancy Ohlin / Snow by Tracy Lynn / The Glass Casket by McCormick Templeman / The Rose and the Beast by Francesca Lia Block / The Serpent’s Shadow by Mercedes Lackey / Nameless by Lili St. Crow / Fairest by Gail Carson Levine / Tender Morsels by Margo Lanagan (*this is actually a retelling of “Snow White and Rose Red”) / Devoured by Amanda Marrone
Sleeping Beauty: A Kiss in Time by Alex Flinn / Briar Rose by Jane Yolen / Beauty Sleep by Cameron Dokey / Princess of Thorns by Stacey Jay / The Healer’s Apprentice by Melanie Dickerson / Spindle’s End by Robin McKinley / Kill Me Softly by Sarah Cross / A Long, Long Sleep by Anna Sheehan
You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.
We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”
I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”
He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.
|—||Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals (x)|
This happened and I regret none of it
Headdress & Winged Harness designed and made by Rob Goodwin
Costume Design: David Bamber
Photographer: Diego Indraccolo
Ballerina: Ksenia Ovsyanick
Ooh, I want to make accessories/headdress like that for my Steampunk outfit. I need something new, since the wings I made before are falling apart D:
Hehe so cute
I like the sound effects. Biku biku byuru byuru zupu
Regarding TRP’s awesome mascot, from the great blog Tokyo Moe:
The mascot is a flying squirrel that lives in Shinjuku named Tobe. The name combines the Japanese word “fly” (飛ぶ) and the English word “to be” signifying personal expression.